The Rain Always Wins
by Morghen
Summary: She wanted to change it but it was so damn hard to break a role that she had been playing for six years." Lily/James SONGFIC. I'm sure it would make sense if you didn't read the lyrics, though. Lily finally realizes that she has feelings for James. R


_"Dressed up from head to toe, to get by._

_It seems once again, I forgot what keeps me safe and dry._

_To the weepy windowpanes, that are dripping with dew._

_I can hear the rain outside, falling from the sky_

_And you can hear the..."_

It was all just a show - a façade - it had always been. She wanted to change it but it was so damn hard to break a role that she had been playing for six years.

No one knew about the battle that had been raging inside her head recently. She was able to act just perfect when other people were around; it was something that she had plenty of practice doing. But that war that was inside of her brain was winding down and she knew which side would win. The side she had fought against for so, so long but it was all in vain because it had won.

There she was, sitting on her bed in her dormitory, a few tears streaking down her freckled cheeks. She felt so vulnerable and alone as she listened to the rhythm of the raindrops hitting the windowpane. She didn't want to like him but she couldn't deny it any longer.

Lily could no longer pretend like she hated James. The war was over and truth had won. She had tried so hard to push the thought of him out of her mind but she couldn't anymore. It was getting too hard and she was running out of excuses.

_"Pitter patter on the rooftop._

_You can listen to the rhythm of the raindrops._

_I wish that the sun would come and stay,_

_But this is a song for rainy days."_

She couldn't stand sitting in the castle any longer. She was going to go crazy. Lily stood up and strode over to the full-length mirror at the other side of the room.

She groaned out loud as she looked at her reflection. It didn't really matter what she did to her hair, though, because it was only going to get drenched outside. She turned away from the mirror and pulled on the soft lilac sweatshirt that was on her bed. Lily slipped on her old grey sneakers and left her dormitory.

Lily felt relieved when she saw that Alice wasn't in the common room. She loved her friend to death but, at the moment, she just wanted to be left alone. What the redhead didn't notice was James Potter, who had been working on an essay in the corner of the room. When he saw her leave, he put away his homework and followed a safe distance behind her.

_"You're growing up, and the rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth, and it's good that there is rain. _

_It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, and it clears the streets of the silent armies, so we can dance."_

Lily wrinkled her nose slightly as she pulled her purple hood over her scarlet hair. She used to love the rain when she was a child, but now it just seemed depressing. Now that she had considered it as she walked towards the stone bench by the lake, she had an idea of what had changed her opinion about the rain. When she was younger, she always used to play outside with Petunia, making mudpies and dancing. Now, the rain brought back memories of a time that she had been so close to her sister and they were upsetting to her.

With a flick of her wand, she dried the stone grey bench and took a seat, facing the water. Somehow, even though it depressed her, the rain was also relaxing, especially the smooth rhythm of it falling into the lake. Unfortunately, it did not make her feel any better when it came to her current problem.

She was just so damn confused. Lily had totally and utterly despised James for so long and now, all of a sudden, she liked him…? No, it wasn't quite like that. Over the years, she had always ignored whatever attractions that she felt towards the raven-haired boy. But this year he had changed so much; it was almost like a whole new James came to school for their seventh year.

So he loved her and she did have feelings for him - shouldn't that make it easy? No. It made it so hard for her. She didn't want to be the girl that he only liked because he wasn't able to get. She didn't want to give him her heart if he was only going to drop it afterwards.

_"Let's go dance around in the rain_

_Don't pay any attention to the people staring from inside_

_We'll leave all our cares behind_

_And you can hear it, the…"_

Inhaling deeply, the smell of rain filled her nose, as she closed her emerald eyes. Her mind relaxed with only the sound of falling water filling her ears. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Lily grimaced as she felt someone sit down beside her. She didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was. "Yes, Potter?" she asked, annoyed with being disturbed.

"You okay?" he questioned her. "I saw you leave the common room and you looked kinda sad…"

Why did he have to be so caring? It made it harder for her to be mean to him - but wait. Truth had won. She was no longer supposed to deny her real feelings… Maybe she would start that a different day when she felt better; she was not in the mood to deal with James right now. "So you followed me?" Uhh, not too mean…

James just shrugged his shoulders. "I thought you might want to talk to someone or something…"

"No, not really," she replied, turning to face him. He was wearing a red sweatshirt that was speckled with raindrops. That stupid grin was on his face - the one that she lov- hated so much.

"So there is something wrong! But you don't want to talk about it…," he said, nodding his head.

"Exactly."

"Well, would you like to dance?"

"Dance?" she repeated, her forehead wrinkling.

"Yeah, dance. I dunno - I just thought that it might take your mind off whatever was bothering you…"

Lily bit her bottom lip lightly as she considered his offer. "I can't dance…"

"So?" he said with a smile.

"What will people think when they see me stumbling around…? I'm less graceful than a mountain troll."

"Lils, who really cares what other people will think? I don't and you shouldn't." James rose to his feet and offered her his hand. He beamed happily when she hesitantly accepted it. He led her away from the bench and closer to the lake - the rain hitting the water was almost like music. He let go of her hand and placed his hands lightly around her waist. Lily draped her arms around his neck, looking slightly uncomfortable about the whole situation. They started to sway to the dripping of the rain.

_"Pitter patter on the rooftop._

_You can listen to the rhythm of the raindrops._

_I wish that the sun would come and stay,_

_But this is a song for rainy days."_

"Ja - errr - Potter, this is silly," she told him as they spun around. She felt embarrassed as they danced around in a circle but James never looked happier.

"Nah, Lily, this isn't silly," he assured her, grinning widely.

"Then what do you call it?" she questioned, raising her eyebrows.

"Uhh, fun."

Just then, she slipped and stepped on his foot, causing him to wince in pain. "See? I can't dance," she said, pulling away from him. Her face was bright red with embarrassment.

James stopped her, shaking his head hurriedly. "No, no - that didn't even hurt that badly. Besides, you're doing fine. Just follow me and relax."

Lily complied and placed her arms back around his neck. She tried her hardest to concentrate and not stomp on his feet. Thankfully, after a little while, she was able to get the hang of it.

"See?" James said after a few minutes passed. "You're doing good." He smiled widely down at her and then added, "Sooo, what was wrong earlier?"

"_And I know once the clouds shed their tears.._

_I know that I'll be okay._

_I know that I'll be okay."_

Lily looked up at him, his hazel eyes locking with her green ones. She opened her mouth slowly but then shut it without saying anything. It was the perfect time to tell him, really. She was already in his arms and dancing around with him like a fool - a thing that she wouldn't have been caught dead doing a few days earlier. Choosing her words wisely, she replied, "I finally realized something."

James raised his dark eyebrows and they disappeared under his unruly hair. "Oh, yeah?"

Lily nodded her head and continued, "Yeah. It scared me because it was something that I had been fighting and denying for so long… I think I'll be okay, now, though…"

She felt him tense underneath her hands but it passed quickly away, along with the look of hope that had been momentarily etched on his face. She felt a little bit bad at how fast at how fast he had extinguished the idea that she was referring to him.

"_Even if the rain always wins_

_And forces my eyes shut, to dream of._

_I'll still dream of brighter days."_

He cleared his throat, still staring down at her. "What do you mean?" he questioned slowly.

Keeping eye contact, she admitted, "I came out here to think about - umm - to think about us. I, err, I like you, Pott - James."

James stopped dancing and dropped his hands down to his sides, looking briefly dumbfounded. "You mean it?" he asked in disbelief.

Lily nodded her head slowly, after removing her arms from around his neck. "I do. I - I was not sure at first because - well - because I was afraid. I was afraid that I would fall in love with you and then you wouldn't want me because you could have me… I didn't want to be hurt, but I don't think that will happen…"

"You don't even know how long I've been waiting for you to say that," he whispered. "I'd never hurt you, Lily - I love you." He leaned down towards her and she closed her eyes shut - waiting for the kiss of a lifetime… Right when he was centimeters away from what he had waited years to do, it started to downpour and thunder rumbled not too far away.

_"Pitter patter on the rooftop._

_You can listen to the rhythm of the raindrops._

_I wish that the sun would come and stay,_

_But this is a song for rainy days."_

James opened his warm honey-colored eyes and shook his head. "Perfect timing, rain."

Lily smiled up at him. She reached forward and combed her fingers through his wet, jet black hair, bringing his lips crashing down onto hers.

That day she decided that the rain wasn't that bad after all.

* * *

**The song lyrics that were used are from "Umbrellas and Elephants" by Cinematic Sunrise. Goooo check them out 'cause Craig Owens is a-m-a-z-i-n-g and he happens to be the lead singer.**

**I just realized the other day that I have never written a fic in Lily's pov and I really wanted to. **

**Thanks mew for being a siriusly awesome beta! *Hands Sirius and cookies*  
**


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